Rocknife have found a cure and a way out of Lockdown with our revolutionary new COVID-19 Cutting Solution. There is an Answer!
At our Rocknife HQ we have been busy with Clinical Trials to cut the ties with Covid-19.
When using one of our 8” Rocknife, the largest of our range, we were able to slice a clear path ahead without cutting corners. Just follow the Video above and Slice the Ties that hold you back. Chop at the Air and Stab with your Rocknife - it is Clinically Proven that you will kill millions of little virus cells in the process as they float through the air, your Stabbing, Slicing and Chopping will kick them where it hurts and the sheer sharpness of the blade will do its work. Guaranteed! Up until midday that is!
Proof in the Pudding
For all the naysayers and doubters out there - we have also managed to prove that the unique Black and White check design actuallt attracts our little COVID friends, drawing in virus cells towards the blade and their certain death.
Due to this we are committed to flattening the curve of dull metal blades instead replacing your old Cheese Choppers with our sleek and slender designs, together we can help the Great Brittish public carve a roadmap out of lockdown.
Our Viral Video, that is available for sharing, shows it all... Our top scientist has completely escaped his Hazmat Suit and is even now running free around the garden.
At Rocknife we don’t have an R-number, we have OUR number, and that is always Number 1.
So remember
STAY SHARP, PROTECT YOUR FINGERS, SAVE KNIVES
We are always looking for new British based testers, our Clinical Trails are still going on despite the overwhelming evidence that everything we do works, we still want you to try it out for yourself. So why don’t you give it a go get your Rocknife out and Stab the Air... You'll feel the release and will be able to head outside after just a few minutes.
And there's More!
You don’t have to use an amazing 8” Rocknife for this process our Clinical Trails have proven that the 6" works just as well and even the 5" has a 97% proficiency rate... the 4" seems to work too at 87% proficiency. However, we are mystified by our beautiful 3" Rocknife that seems not to work at all.
The colours, Red, Green, Pink, Black, Grey and Blue seem to make no difference whatsoever, literally they all work and they all kill COVID-19 virus cells. We think this is fabulous news as now you can pick a COVID killer in any colour you like. If you're kitchen is a Sixties Green design, get some Bloe Rocknives, it will look georgous.
We have it all - just waiting for you on our website. Please note: don't read the small print, we are not responsible, we are Rocknife!
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