Here are some useful facts to help guide you through life’s up and downs.
Nine Important Facts
- Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
- Life is sexually transmitted.
- Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
- Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
- Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
- In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
- Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.
…and as someone recently said to me: Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last that long.